Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close to Fear

          Have you ever wondered if the food you were eating that you had just received from a high school senior at Burger King was poisoned and that only pre-packaged foods were safe against the “murderous” conspirators? If you find this paranoia to be perplexing in rationality or even ridiculous in nature, then you most likely do not share this common trait with a schizophrenic. If you haven't guessed the topic of this week's mental disorder, then I will jokingly recommend that you have yourself diagnosed for Alzheimer's Disease. Schizophrenia is a serious mental disorder –psychology.com proposes that it affects about 1% of Americans – that is possibly the most stigmatized; a study conducted by Indiana University found that there still existed a heavy notion that those with schizophrenia or bipolar disorder should not be able to hold positions of power due to their lack of “rational behavior and judgement”.

          As I've stated in my previous post, I will be attempting to use different types of art as mediums to portray the situations and emotions of individuals suffering from different serious mental disorders. Symptoms of Schizophrenia include, but are not limited to: hallucinations, delusions of grandeur, paranoia, movement disorders, and the inability to enjoy one's past pleasures in life. Examples of first hand experiences and experiences fostering children afflicted with this disease can be found on the website schizophrenia.com/family(hyperlink). In one instance, a child with developing signs of Schizophrenia possessed ideas that his mother was “putting something in the food to taste funny” and also refused to eat his favorite McDonalds meals; this resulted in a dramatic weight of loss of 50 pounds within the next 6-7 months. He would eventually begin to hear voices prompting illogical ideas to form in his head concerning things such as suddenly becoming knowledgable beforehand of winning lottery numbers. Due to these aforementioned symptoms, his academic standing began to deteriorate until the family decided to seek psychiatric assistance.

           I'm utterly distressed by the trials and tribulations these individuals must go through every day of their lives; never being able to rest out of fear of internal or external conspiracies and becoming severely depressed while still having to endure the rigorous life of a normal student or employee is above and beyond what anyone should ask for in a human being. Due to these circumstances, sometimes an afflicted patient might understandably become aggressive and violent towards other people. In response to that, it is also understandable to instill a somewhat stigmatized notion of fear in those outside of the afflicted community; a research study found in the schizophrenia bulletin in the oxford journals, conducted by Faith Dickerson and associates of Sheppard and Enoch Pratt Hospital, found that out of 74 afflicted subjects, 61% of them agreed that general community members possessed the highest source of stigma and that 50% were left without acceptance or understanding. As a general community member, I have written a poem after conducting research on the symptoms and first-hand experiences of Schizophrenia in order to describe the helplessness and yearning of normality that those individuals might possess,

“Yesterday, Samantha whispered that I carve my name into my wrist.

Recently, it has become an act of resistance to refuse

And an act of rebellion to acknowledge the crude

Lies of someone or something that mother says does not exist.

They mutter terrifying things that won't allow me to sleep;

Though they accompany my soul, I wish to be set free.

Lately, my smile has been wiped away as if it were a mistake.

“Brother must have wrapped nightmares around my memories

And slipped depression into the endless tears that I bleed”

I screamed from thousands of miles away as his voice began to break.

Every moment that I endure, the more they change around me

The more my mind is opened, my grip loosens on reality.

I've abandoned hopes of meeting with them; silence, be my only friend.

Samantha, leave me the way that I've left my family: alone.

I can't recall the last time I've had peace of mind and a unified soul,

I can't remember when this hell began nor will I know of its end.

The further away I'm exiled, the more I must see

That these pills in my hand are the only things that keep me, me.

So don't throw insults or judgements like waves crashing upon sand,

Because you'll never know who I am if you can't understand

If you won't unders-

If you-

Ifgn yotnj eowrn indstatd.”

          The first stanza describes a common trait shared by every sufferer: hallucinations. These hallucinations not only trouble the boy's mother, but they also prevent him from being able to sleep. The second stanza represents the loss of pleasure in one's life and the delusions that accompany the disease - most notably, paranoid delusions of his brother. The final stanza represents social withdrawal and isolation, another common symptom of Schizophrenia. He acknowledges that the pills administered to him are the only things keeping him “sane” and pleads the audience to consider his condition before judging his character. The ending of the poem describes the way in which patients sometimes repeat themselves frequently due to memory problems and may even begin to create incoherent sentences and words due to cognitive failures.

          Schizophrenia is a powerful disorder that produces terrifying effects in approximately 1% of individuals in America. Though we may have progressed from an age where we imprisoned the mentally unstable in jail cells and unhealthy living conditions, we still have a long way to go until the stigma begins to wither away and the understanding begins to grow. We must do all that we can to accommodate those with these illnesses, and also work to find ways in which we lessen the stress that they go through and therefore lessen the severity of their situations. I invite you to join me next week to discuss another important serious mental disorder and also perhaps ways to help those afflicted.

Working Bibliography

Dickerson, Faith B. "Experiences of Stigma Among Outpatients With Schizophrenia." Oxford Journal's Schizophrenia Bulletin. Web. <http://schizophreniabulletin.oxfordjournals.org/content/28/1/143.full.pdf? origin=publication_detail>.

"Schizophrenia.com, Indepth Schizophrenia Information and Support."Schizophrenia.com, Indepth Schizophrenia Information and Support. Web. 02 May 2014. <http://www.schizophrenia.com/index.html>.

"Schizophrenia."Schizophrenia. Web. 02 May 2014. <http://www.psychology.com/resources/schizophrenia.php>.

"The Stigma of Schizophrenia | Schizophrenia Research Institute."The Stigma of Schizophrenia | Schizophrenia Research Institute. Web. 02 May 2014. <http://www.schizophreniaresearch.org.au/schizophrenia/the-stigma-of- schizophrenia/>.