Look Down, Look Away, Look Anywhere but Up

          Welcome back, readers and thinkers alike. As I continue with my theme of using creative art to illustrate points about certain diseases, I plan to present a serious mental disorder that will plague many of us at least once in our lifetimes: depression. Though there is a lack of social stigma in comparison to my earlier post concerning Schizophrenia, there still exists the belief that depression is a mild form of sadness resulting from the inability to recover from sorrowful situations. However, let's take a step back and discuss what depression is and why it's considered a serious mental health issue.

          The health website Mayoclinic describes depression as “a mood disorder that causes a persistent feeling of sadness and loss of interest.” In addition to a waking reality of sadness, there are a myriad of other stressful and sometimes crippling symptoms that can accompany depression: difficulty concentrating or making decisions, irritability towards others, physiological problems, the loss of interest in previously pleasurable activities, and feelings of worthlessness and guilt that lead many people to attempt or ponder the benefits of committing suicide. Interestingly enough, there are many different types of depression ranging from those dealing with psychotic episodes to those dealing with anxiety. In addition – unbeknownst to me – chronic sources of stress can lead to trials of depression.                  There is an incredible difference when treating an individual in a constant state of depression in comparison to a temporary state of sadness; the sooner the reverse stigma (an imaginary term that describes the act of displaying almost no sign of empathy or sympathy towards a societal taboo) towards depression is withdrawn, the sooner those that are afflicted can recover and grow.

Studies illustrated by the Healthline website show that about 1 in every 10 Americans suffer from clinical depression; the number of individuals in the United States diagnosed with it increases by about 20% each year. However, nearly 80% of those that show signs of clinical depression are not receiving specific treatments to aid their struggle towards “normality”. According to the National Institute of Health, more than 21 million people in the United States alone suffer from a form of depression per year, while more than 121 million people globally suffer from current bouts of depression. What do all of these stats mean, exactly? The World Health Organization has recently proposed that depression is the leading cause of illness and disability in adolescents (10-19 year olds) and consequently – or correlative to that fact – suicides have become the 3^rd leading killer of teenagers and young adults – behind only HIV/AIDS and road traffic injuries. The act of taking one's life should never reside in a list illustrating the top causes of death – especially when those lists deal with children who have yet to experience the highs and lows that life could have offered them.

          Depression can be caused by one's genetic, biological, psychological, and environmental factors; there is no one situation or single cause that determines the growth of this disorder. However, situations of permanent stress – such as alcoholic/abusive relationships or positions where pressure is constantly thrust upon an individual – can explain the environmental aspects of the disease. Many stories describing the beginnings of one's depression are different, but they all include the same raw feelings of helplessness, worthlessness, and utter sadness. If you are interested in reading some stories concerning pre-adolescent depression, I suggest visiting the website depressedchild.org.

          In keeping with this week's topic, I have written a song that describes feelings that I have personally felt in correlation to my past relationships. Though I believe that this does not scratch the surface of true depression, I think that the idea of failed relationships appeals to a much wider audience. In doing so, I hope to illustrate the worthlessness, guilt, and pain that many people will endure during their lifetimes. The most powerful asset that sufferers of depression have, in contrast to this song, is their relationships with family, friends, and lovers. Genuine emotional support being given to these individuals – along with certain types of medication that will help to balance the chemical inconsistencies within the brain – is the difference between saying “good-bye” to a person and saying “see you later”. In conclusion, the only thing that we can really alter to help those in need is ourselves; support and understanding are more powerful than any medicine that we administer them.

“Without You”

I'll never forgot how I said goodbye

The pain in my chest with tears in my eyes

A picturesque moment of sweet lullabies

Is all I have left of us.

We danced on the clouds in all of my dreams,

But our lives fell apart, there's no in between

I'm only awake when I'm falling asleep

Thoughts are never enough.

Cause you were my smile

And I was your pain.

You were my warmth when I was your rain.

You were my joy

When your heart ached

For you, I've just gotta walk away.

Please forgive me, but someday you'll see

That your smile's brighter without me.

In every moment and every chance,

I wonder who's out there stealing a glance

Who's holding you tight and making you laugh

Beyond our front door?

And every second I lie awake in my bed

I reminisce and just hope that instead

Of living life lonely, you'll love me again

But I can't hurt you anymore.

I wish we never had to meet

Cause now I can hardly breathe

When I wake up without your eyes

Meeting mine, it's a crime, won't lie.

Cause you were my smile

And I was your pain.

You were my warmth when I was your rain.

You were my joy

When your heart ached

For you, I've just gotta walk away.

Don't you dare look back on us

Cause memories are never enough.

Working Bibliography

The Depressed Child: Personal Stories of Depressed Children. Web. 14 May 2014. <http://www.depressedchild.org/Personal_Stories/Personal_Stories.htm>

"Depression Top Cause of Illness in World's Teens, World Health Organiszation Reports."The Sydney Morning Herald. Web. 14 May 2014. <http://www.smh.com.au/world/depression-top-cause-of- illness-in-worlds-teens-world-health-organisation-reports-20140515-zrd2i.html>.

"Unhappiness by the Numbers: 2012 Depression Statistics.". Healthline Networks Incorporated, 2012. Web. 14 May 2014. <http://www.healthline.com/health/depression/statistics-infographic>.

Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close to Fear

          Have you ever wondered if the food you were eating that you had just received from a high school senior at Burger King was poisoned and that only pre-packaged foods were safe against the “murderous” conspirators? If you find this paranoia to be perplexing in rationality or even ridiculous in nature, then you most likely do not share this common trait with a schizophrenic. If you haven't guessed the topic of this week's mental disorder, then I will jokingly recommend that you have yourself diagnosed for Alzheimer's Disease. Schizophrenia is a serious mental disorder –psychology.com proposes that it affects about 1% of Americans – that is possibly the most stigmatized; a study conducted by Indiana University found that there still existed a heavy notion that those with schizophrenia or bipolar disorder should not be able to hold positions of power due to their lack of “rational behavior and judgement”.

          As I've stated in my previous post, I will be attempting to use different types of art as mediums to portray the situations and emotions of individuals suffering from different serious mental disorders. Symptoms of Schizophrenia include, but are not limited to: hallucinations, delusions of grandeur, paranoia, movement disorders, and the inability to enjoy one's past pleasures in life. Examples of first hand experiences and experiences fostering children afflicted with this disease can be found on the website schizophrenia.com/family(hyperlink). In one instance, a child with developing signs of Schizophrenia possessed ideas that his mother was “putting something in the food to taste funny” and also refused to eat his favorite McDonalds meals; this resulted in a dramatic weight of loss of 50 pounds within the next 6-7 months. He would eventually begin to hear voices prompting illogical ideas to form in his head concerning things such as suddenly becoming knowledgable beforehand of winning lottery numbers. Due to these aforementioned symptoms, his academic standing began to deteriorate until the family decided to seek psychiatric assistance.

           I'm utterly distressed by the trials and tribulations these individuals must go through every day of their lives; never being able to rest out of fear of internal or external conspiracies and becoming severely depressed while still having to endure the rigorous life of a normal student or employee is above and beyond what anyone should ask for in a human being. Due to these circumstances, sometimes an afflicted patient might understandably become aggressive and violent towards other people. In response to that, it is also understandable to instill a somewhat stigmatized notion of fear in those outside of the afflicted community; a research study found in the schizophrenia bulletin in the oxford journals, conducted by Faith Dickerson and associates of Sheppard and Enoch Pratt Hospital, found that out of 74 afflicted subjects, 61% of them agreed that general community members possessed the highest source of stigma and that 50% were left without acceptance or understanding. As a general community member, I have written a poem after conducting research on the symptoms and first-hand experiences of Schizophrenia in order to describe the helplessness and yearning of normality that those individuals might possess,

“Yesterday, Samantha whispered that I carve my name into my wrist.

Recently, it has become an act of resistance to refuse

And an act of rebellion to acknowledge the crude

Lies of someone or something that mother says does not exist.

They mutter terrifying things that won't allow me to sleep;

Though they accompany my soul, I wish to be set free.

Lately, my smile has been wiped away as if it were a mistake.

“Brother must have wrapped nightmares around my memories

And slipped depression into the endless tears that I bleed”

I screamed from thousands of miles away as his voice began to break.

Every moment that I endure, the more they change around me

The more my mind is opened, my grip loosens on reality.

I've abandoned hopes of meeting with them; silence, be my only friend.

Samantha, leave me the way that I've left my family: alone.

I can't recall the last time I've had peace of mind and a unified soul,

I can't remember when this hell began nor will I know of its end.

The further away I'm exiled, the more I must see

That these pills in my hand are the only things that keep me, me.

So don't throw insults or judgements like waves crashing upon sand,

Because you'll never know who I am if you can't understand

If you won't unders-

If you-

Ifgn yotnj eowrn indstatd.”

          The first stanza describes a common trait shared by every sufferer: hallucinations. These hallucinations not only trouble the boy's mother, but they also prevent him from being able to sleep. The second stanza represents the loss of pleasure in one's life and the delusions that accompany the disease - most notably, paranoid delusions of his brother. The final stanza represents social withdrawal and isolation, another common symptom of Schizophrenia. He acknowledges that the pills administered to him are the only things keeping him “sane” and pleads the audience to consider his condition before judging his character. The ending of the poem describes the way in which patients sometimes repeat themselves frequently due to memory problems and may even begin to create incoherent sentences and words due to cognitive failures.

          Schizophrenia is a powerful disorder that produces terrifying effects in approximately 1% of individuals in America. Though we may have progressed from an age where we imprisoned the mentally unstable in jail cells and unhealthy living conditions, we still have a long way to go until the stigma begins to wither away and the understanding begins to grow. We must do all that we can to accommodate those with these illnesses, and also work to find ways in which we lessen the stress that they go through and therefore lessen the severity of their situations. I invite you to join me next week to discuss another important serious mental disorder and also perhaps ways to help those afflicted.

Working Bibliography

Dickerson, Faith B. "Experiences of Stigma Among Outpatients With Schizophrenia." Oxford Journal's Schizophrenia Bulletin. Web. <http://schizophreniabulletin.oxfordjournals.org/content/28/1/143.full.pdf? origin=publication_detail>.

"Schizophrenia.com, Indepth Schizophrenia Information and Support."Schizophrenia.com, Indepth Schizophrenia Information and Support. Web. 02 May 2014. <http://www.schizophrenia.com/index.html>.

"Schizophrenia."Schizophrenia. Web. 02 May 2014. <http://www.psychology.com/resources/schizophrenia.php>.

"The Stigma of Schizophrenia | Schizophrenia Research Institute."The Stigma of Schizophrenia | Schizophrenia Research Institute. Web. 02 May 2014. <http://www.schizophreniaresearch.org.au/schizophrenia/the-stigma-of- schizophrenia/>.

Out of Sight, In Your Mind

     “Hello, and welcome to the behind-the-scenes look at the life of seriously mentally ill patients. You'll be happy to find that this blog possesses every tidbit of information concerning treating and curing those afflicted..” - is what I would like to say. Such a simple approach to an immensely difficult and controversial topic is one that I, perhaps an optimistic and naive fool, would love to believe in. However, nothing so prominent in a societal minority could ever be dismissed as easily treatable or acceptable – that's just the disgusting truth. Therefore, I propose that you and I discover the truth behind the lives of these suffering individuals and strive to aid and assist without passing judgement.

      I'm terribly sorry that I've forced our acquaintance without any sort of a proper introduction. My name is Alden Yanos, and I'm quite familiar with minor mental disorders from the experiences I've met with in my life and my volunteer work at Straub Clinic and Hospital. Typically, you can find me pondering life's most difficult questions in correlation to society's mistakes or taking an extremely fulfilling nap; these almost always take place together. I began to take an interest in the psychology of the human mind after stumbling upon the television show “House M.D.” and also after viewing A&E specials concerning serial killers and their motives. I was immediately fascinated with these subjects and began to conduct research on my own, watching an exorbitant amount of documentaries concerning mental health and its defects. In high school, my Psychology teacher had told me of his numerous experiences in psychiatric wards and how some of his interactions with seriously mentally ill patients took place. Again, this prompted me to continue to search for answers concerning mental health stigma, disorders, and everything in between to this very day.

      During the years 2009-2010, when I was approximately a naïve fourteen year old boy, I had begun to reach out towards the internet community more fervently than ever. I joined online discussion boards and chat rooms so that I could gain some insight on certain areas of interest, such as music and games. It was in an online game chat that my life had begun to spiral into a naïve downward path. While there, I began to develop a personal relationship with another female viewer, writing constantly to her every day in order to satisfy some innate need to be viewed as special to someone. After months of time dedicated to this image of her, my mind and my heart began to develop suspicions about the identity of my friend and “first love”. After constant interrogations, the woman I was led to believe existed and cared for me was a facade: I was catfished by a man. Catfishing is known as the act of inheriting a false identity over social media in order to trick people into emotional relationships.

      I was thoroughly devastated, and I believe that I have not recovered since. Since then, I have had three genuine platonic online relationships that have gone awry due to my past experience. Through the miracle of the internet – or perhaps the curse – I have come to understand that I may possess an “Avoidant Personality Disorder”. This disorder specifies that I am afraid to engage in intimate relationships because of my overbearing fear of rejection, and that I withdraw from social situations because I am afraid of inferiority and ridicule. This ties into my study on this topic because my ailment is not even categorized as a “serious mental illness”; the problems that they face on an every day basis must be excruciatingly difficult to overcome, much less painful and embarassing.

      What I found in my research concerning mental health degradation was sometimes repetitive, but always intriguing. Many times, chemical imbalances in the body produce specific ailments or disorders that can corrupt the normal thought processes of the mind. However, the stigma that patients who suffer from these problems are always dangerous penetrates deep into the average majority's psyche. Many whom have no control over their decisions or only partial control are outcasted and feared for being sick; treating those who are physically injured while ignoring those who are mentally hurt is a furiously ridiculous double standard that I will have no part in helping to reciprocate.

       My goal for this blog project is to help those who are underrepresented and undervalued have a voice on a subject that most “normal” people have almost no knowledge about. Through the use of art, I hope to spark interest in the minds of readers that would normally never read the information presented by a “stereotypical” essay. I hope that my amateur hobbies of writing/singing songs and producing poems on my blog helps to educate and inform the public of the diseases that either are unnoticed or ridiculed due to ignorance. Success is determined not by the amount of readers one has, but by the amount of people that have been helped by the subject material. If I am able to help at least one afflicted individual become more comfortable with their disorder and one “normal” individual become more aware and sympathetic to the former, then I will undoubtedly deem this project to be a success. So join me and many others on this journey to discover what it's like to see the world with a different perception, and to perhaps discover something about ourselves in the process.